The infinite wisdom of the key cutter man

The other night I was overwhelmed by the desire to radically change my hair. Cutting it wasn't an option as I've decided to grow it again now, to go with that whole 'I'm a beach hippie' look that I intend to master by the time summer rolls around. But still this inimitable force drove me to do *something* different. So I dyed it bright red. Shocking? Yes. Successful? Not very.


I was just casually strolling down my local village high street yesterday, when I decided to pop into "The Hagley Cobbler" - a place of many wonders, including lightbulbs, shoe re-heeling and key-cutting. I enjoyed this shop so much at Christmas, (when many light bulbs blew, and many extra plugs were needed), that I even sent the key cutter man a card. It read:


Dear Mr Cobblers

Thankyou so much for all my home appliances and accessories over the last few months. Thanks to you, the lights are on, even though quite often nobody is home.

Merry Christmas!

From, that girl who lives up the road, who always makes you laugh!


Well, I walked into the shop again yesterday afternoon, in dire need of another light bulb, no less. The key cutter man (a.k.a. Mr Cobblers) looked up sporting his usual kindly frown, and broke into a grin when he saw me.

"Nice hair." He says, still smiling. "I almost didn't recognise you."
"Yeah, well, I fancied a change." I say.
He laughs a great big belly laugh.
"What?" I ask, suddenly aware that my hair is a slightly unsuccessful shade of red.
"So you finally gave that good for nothing boyfriend of yours his marching orders, then!" He starts chuckling again.

At this point, I am most bemused, because, that is exactly what I did do. Just 2 or 3 weeks ago in fact. In the aftermath I sorted out my wardrobes, chucked out old clothes, (shopped for new clothes), changed my kitchen around, and booked a life changing one-way flight to Thailand.

"How did you know I did that?" I ask the key cutter man. God, am I really that predictable?
Still smiling, he pronounces, "That's what women do. Break up with a boyfriend, change their image."
Oh my god. This man is a genius. I have new-found awe and respect for Mr Cobblers. He will come to be known in history as the wise man who took keys, and gave answers.

The flamingo and the list

Tying up loose ends is never an easy job. In fact I have so many loose ends trailing around me at the moment, that I have cats chasing me wherever I go. It's quite a distraction.

I confess I have become addicted to making lists. At first I began with the solid, important things, like:


1) Rent apartment out
2) Sell car
3) Re-direct mail

(Next to each item is a box, with a specially designated pink pen for that all important tick)

Unfortunately these solid, important things are not easily attainable in the immediate future, and I became quickly frustrated when my special pink pen (with a flamingo on the end, no less) sat unused, unwanted, and unloved in the corner of my desk, glaring at me in that way that only feathered flamingos can.

So, I have since added what I like to think of as "more achieveable" goals, such as:

4) Organise paperwork
5) Clean microwave
6) Book a facial (in case you're questioning this entry, this is technically an important part of my preparation...my skin needs to be conditioned for that harsh climate)

Some of these have already given me that smug satisfaction that results from a big pink tick from my big pink pen.

Yes, I think. I am an achiever.

It has come to my attention, however, that I *may* have got a little carried away with my list-making. Upon confirming my trip, I was all action and enthusiasm, and was thus able to award myself more ticks than a stray dog. However, my positive achievements have begun to dwindle in number, and now I find myself extending "The List" just for the sake of another tick. You may call this procrastinating, a waste of time and paper, or simply ludicrous. I call it positive thinking.

13) Make bed
14) Brush teeth
15) Get dressed
16) Eat

Don't blame me. The flamingo made me.